monique polak

Monique Polak's Books

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Ahhhhh!

That Ahhhhh! (with five h's) is because I'm done correcting. Except for a few days of meetings at school, I'm pretty much done -- which means I can make the switch to full-time writing.

Ahhhhh! In the past, I've sometimes needed a little transition time between school and writing, but I'm trying to get right back into the writing so I can make the most of my long freedays. One of the things I'm finding is that I need to say NO more. I'm glad to have several good friends, but I'm having to tell them that I want to spend most of my days this summer writing -- not having lunch or going for tea. I read not long ago that people like me, who have trouble saying no, should think instead about what they're saying "yes" to. I'm saying yes to getting lost in my imagination, to getting back to work on a story I've been fiddling with for several months, and then, perhaps, to starting something entirely new before it's time to go back to school. So that's my latest resolution -- to say no when I have to -- and to not feel guilty about it.

Are you one of those people who has a similar problem with saying no?
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Comments

Guest - Kim on Saturday, 17 May 2008 01:43

I cannot say no... or rather, I can, but I still end up saying yes to so much stuff that I am often overwhelmed by everything I have to do and only barely get it done. Not a fun feeling... but that's what I get for agreeing to so much stuff. I don't even know where i'll fit my summer vacation in, yet -- I start work next Thursday, and my last Final is on Wednesday!
Sometimes, in order to feel less guilty about refusing something, I actually apply it to all situations which are similar -- for example, in sec.III, this girl whom I found quite annoying asked me to scan my notes for her to study them, but I didn't feel like helping her out, so I told her a small white lie and said my scanner wasn't connected to the computer. Well, obviously, another girl from my class had to call me 2 mintues later and ask me for the same thing, but I saidno to her as well, since I'd already said no to the first girl... but I felt bad for not agreeing with her, because she was quite nice. It's always so complicated when you say no, it seems much easier to say yes. Until you bear the consequences of your choice...

I [i]cannot[/i] say no... or rather, I can, but I still end up saying yes to so much stuff that I am often overwhelmed by everything I have to do and only barely get it done. :D Not a fun feeling... but that's what I get for agreeing to so much stuff. I don't even know where i'll fit my summer vacation in, yet -- I start work next Thursday, and my last Final is on Wednesday! Sometimes, in order to feel less guilty about refusing something, I actually apply it to all situations which are similar -- for example, in sec.III, this girl whom I found quite annoying asked me to scan my notes for her to study them, but I didn't feel like helping her out, so I told her a small white lie and said my scanner wasn't connected to the computer. Well, obviously, another girl from my class had to call me 2 mintues later and ask me for the same thing, but I saidno to her as well, since I'd already said no to the first girl... but I felt bad for not agreeing with her, because she was quite nice. It's always so complicated when you say no, it seems much easier to say yes. Until you bear the consequences of your choice...
Guest - tamar on Saturday, 17 May 2008 03:46

I am a pushover most of the time but if I really do not want to do something I stand my ground. I did it today Although I do feel somewhat guilty for saying no...
Congrats on finishing your correcting... now get your colleagues on that so those of us waiting for grades can get them

I am a pushover most of the time but if I really do not want to do something I stand my ground. I did it today :) Although I do feel somewhat guilty for saying no... Congrats on finishing your correcting... now get your colleagues on that so those of us waiting for grades can get them ;)
Guest - Rachel on Saturday, 17 May 2008 04:37

My mom always complains that I'm one of those "can't say no" people, except when it comes to saying no to her...
I was so proud of myself last week when I said no to taking a shift that I really didn't want but then about an hour afterwards I started feeling really guilty and I actually called my co-worker back to say I changed my mind and I could do it. So saying no (or rather saying yes) is something I should also work on this summer.

My mom always complains that I'm one of those "can't say no" people, except when it comes to saying no to her... I was so proud of myself last week when I said no to taking a shift that I really didn't want but then about an hour afterwards I started feeling really guilty and I actually called my co-worker back to say I changed my mind and I could do it. So saying no (or rather saying yes) is something I should also work on this summer.
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